So... I've got a plan... Stan!

Before I reveal the decisions I've come to, I'd like to thank my support system.

My Parents, Bernie or Bernice:  I didn't know what it was going to be like when they came home.  I spent most of my 4th of July holiday with them.  If I didn't say it was awkward, I'd be lying.  I'm really very introverted & shy even round my family.  That's how it was then.  I don't think I strung two sentences together.  But to realize on Sunday morning they were 2 hours away in Sandy not a 6 hour flight over a large body of water.  It was good to get that hug I needed so dearly after 6-1/2 years of wrapping my arms around me pretending.

My friend Mandilyn & her little family.  For being the first person I called after the blow.  I couldn't go home; it was Jason's birthday.  I couldn't come that second & be Debbie Downer.  She's not the first person that came to mind, but I knew she just let me be.  To her son, Vincent, who cracks me up incessantly over & over.  His innocent joy & happiness riding the rides at the fair.  His quoting of his lizard & snake movie he watches all day everyday, or him over hearing telling me tell his Mom about Bernie & Bernice coming up.  Now, you ask him who my parents are, he says Bernie & Bernice.

Jason for being so understanding.  His calmness ; it seriously is a gift I wish I had.  Aaron's vigor & zeal to take my decision & help me run with it.  And everyone else I've talked, texted, IMed, emailed, spacebooked...

I need to mention music.  For the last week I haven't want to be alone with my head.  If it wasn't for music, I'd have gone crazy.  I've had to have something to distract me all the time.  It's my lullaby at night  I'll sleep an hour & wake up thinking it's been 8.  I've had to turn the computer back on & put something on.  As John Cusack says, "I just want something I can ignore." That statement never seemed so true.  So, thank you to my itunes library.  If you want to see them,  http://www.last.fm/user/Shy_Boy.  Not forgetting my records as they wage an offensive battle with my room.  They're winning.

So...  Here's the big decision...  

I'm 80% sure I'm going to school up at The Utah State University.  I had this pop into my head last Friday & confirmed to me on Monday when I walked around campus & visiting with Aaron.  Now, it's 80% because I'm waiting on BRHS to get my transcripts to admissions.  Coming out of high school or even while in high school, I was never asked if I wanted to go to college.  BRHS wanted to get me in & out of there so fast.  No time to dawdle.  I was an after thought.  A few teachers helped me through those days, especially senior year: Ms. Mazaros, Madame Park, & Coach Park.  It's always been in the back of my mind.  A lot more lately knowing something was coming at work.  I would sit at my desk & think about what I'd do if something happened, & this would be the first thing to pop up.  So here I am, an incoming 30 year old Freshman.  I'm scarred shitless.  I'd be lying if I told you otherwise.  But excited beyond compare to get going.  I'm going to worry about a job after school has started, & I know my schedule.

I want everyone to know I'm not bitter that everything transpired this last week or so.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Yes, it's the biggest obstacle I've had to deal, but look where it led me.

I'm going to better myself so this sure as hell won't happen again.