I'm Off/On the Wagon... (Depending on how you wanna look at it.)

I've been driven back to the elixir of life (As Bernie says).  I've had one 44 oz fountain, & I'm working on a second as we speak.  I don't think I've been this caffeinated for about 10 years or so.  Yes, 10 years without any caffeine.  I know you're asking yourself, "How did/can he survive without it?"  I just did.  I made it a goal, & it stuck.  This year, I cut out carbonation.  Well, not any more. It tastes amazing.  That first sip was breathtaking.  It still is.  

Now, you're asking yourself another question, "What broke the camels back?"

Today around 10:40 am, I was laid off from my job.  Most the office staff got it.  We were on furlough in July.  Most didn't know that.  I had to take 5 days off before the end.  If I said, I didn't see it coming; I'd be lying.  I just thought it wouldn't be me...  yet, as stupid as that sounds.  I thought they needed someone to keep components coming in to finish projects.  I guess not.

A few things...

• I can remember the email I got from Russ that fateful December day.  I can remember writing the address down on a post-it.  (I still have it.  Sentimental bastard...)  I can remember the drive to meet with him.  I can remember walking in & asking for him.  (Ken was at his desk & pointed me in the right direction.)  I can remember the nickel tour.  I can remember him asking if I wanted to leave Icon.  DUH!  (I was hoping on that fateful drive this would happen, but I didn't want to jinx it.)  I can remember being nervous & excited about it.  The day I gave my 2 weeks to Roger.  Feeling so nervous; I'd never done that.  Him understanding.  Being so happy.  I WAS OUT.  Going to California to visit my dear friends & my Uncle Walt for 28 on 28.  Not being sad to leave California for once.  My first day...  My first week...  My second week...  Getting yelled at...  The aluminum flying...  The ensuing 2 years, 8 months, 4 days, 2 hours & 40 minutes...

• The fun we had.  I'll never forget some of the people I met, all friends.  I hope to keep in touch with most of them; time will tell.  Getting the band back together with Russ.  Joel, for helping me learn a lot those first few days, weeks, months, & years.  Plus, breakfast on Christmas Morning, twice, when I really didn't have anywhere to go.  I'll never ever forget those.  Andy, sleeping in your corner.  Scott, friend I never had in high school.  (Could've been a friend.  Me, class of '97; Scott, class of '98.  KAB!)  Brent, your unfailing positive attitude.  Go Aggies!  John, for teaching me how to be a dick.  (Yes, that's right.  Sometimes you just gotta be one.)  And your even keel.  Seantae, your bulldog approach to your job.  I wish only I had that in my DNA.  I'd be a lot farther in life.  These are the people I saw & worked with daily.  Shop guys...  a tip of the cap to you.  You all are unbelievable  craftsmen & awe-inspiring at what you do.  I wish you all the best. I'm better for knowing everyone.  Cheers...

I'm ok with it all now.  I'm sad, excited, nervous, & tired.  I'm tired but not tired, & it's not the caffeine.  (If you know what I'm saying.)  The next few month will tell what I'll do, or where I end up.  Lots of things a running amuck in my head.  One thing, I KNOW I WILL LAND ON MY FEET THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE!!!  Keep tuned in to see what happens, but it ain't happening till Monday.

ps...  I had to write this for my sanity.  Being the depressed person that I am, I had to get these thoughts out.

pps...  A big thank you to Mandilyn for letting me just "be" at her house.  I couldn't be alone with myself after initial bomb.

ppps...  John Hughes, you made some damn amazing (Yes, I know.  I've said it a lot.) iconic movies.  They sure as hell don't make them like you did.  RIP

pppps...  Sorry for the novel.  If you need to walk away & come back, I understand.