Charlie Hayes

I apologize for my lack of interaction.  In December, I started dating.  We went out 7 time through out January & February. On our last date, she told me "She wasn't sure about us." Which, needless to say, I took as "She wasn't sure about me." Maybe, I'm wrong. I've spent the last month depressed.  I have had depression probably since sixth grade (If you know me, you can do the math.) & properly diagnosed, as a senoir in high school.  My parents finally took me to the doctor when I threw a chair Bobby Knight-style in a church basketball game.  I didn't want to go to school any more & didn't care if I graduated or not.  And, to be Frank, I was done with life.  I could leave anytime.  Over the next 22 years, I've learned to cope with my illness.  I started out n anti-depressants, but as I got older &had to pay my own bills, I've weened myself off of them.  I take a good dose of St. Johns Wort, vitamins, regular sleep, & I vistit a homeopath to help cure myself & my core. Top of that list is to cut out those things that make me depressed. Number One with a bullet is girls.  I don't date.  I really depise it.  I could count on my fingers & toes how many dates Ive been on in my life.  SEVEN was a lot of dates with one person for me.  (Two dates with same girl was a record.)  I've moved on.  I don't think I was depressed about the girl really.  More that, I don't want to go on another first date/ job interview again.  By April 1st, I will be on a dating website.  I don't see how else I'm going to meet someone.  I'm ultra shy around all girls at first. I warm up.  I'm telling this to you to push me to do this step.  For reals.

Please listen to this song by Frank Turner.  Music eases my mind & singers/ Songwriters say things better than I do.



See you in the future...