November... Where are August, September, & October?

With last night being Halloween & the night of the annual HOWL at Utah State, I've looked back on the last few months.  If you would've told me I'd be a freshman, I probably would've laughed at you.  I mean, I've thought about attending for sometime now, but the older I got; the more stuff, i.e. bills, I accrued.  Meaning I need money, but circumstances beyond my control have led me.  I think a lot about why I'm at Utah State.  I remember that fateful day in August like it was hours ago.  I can't help but think about it.  That morning about 4am, I thought, "I'm gonna go earn my 'A' on my license plate.  For those who don't know what that is, in Utah, you can support your university with a license plate.  Utah State's happens to have an 'A' on it.  I've stuck to my guns with this decision.  I will say it's a challenge.  I enjoy learning the various things I'm taking, but everything that goes along with this is mind boggling.  I've had to learn to take notes again, listen to the professor, study really more than I'd like, read everything, & a BIGGIE socialize with others.  Most of you may not think so, but I'm terribly shy.  I can't go up people & talk to them especially girls.  If you asked Bernice, I've been this way my whole life.  I will say I'm getting better at it.  If someone engages me, I'll talk back instead of giving them some body language & walking off.  Plus, imagine being 30 in a class of 18, 19, & 20 year olds.  The only thing in common is the fact we're freshmen.  I've got bigger problems than why Johnny didn't call me back.  Like, where I'm gonna pull my car payment out of.  I've made a few friends along the way.  Don't get me wrong, there are like minded people where ever you go.  I've involved myself with a few things as well.  I find myself in the Women Resource Center/ Veterans Resource Center/ Re-Entry Student Center.  There, I find some good people.  I've also met many just "loitering".  I am part of one group.  It's the Student Advisory Board (SAB).  I'm the Re-Entry Student rep.  Meeting once a month to discuss issues across campus among many different & diverse groups, clubs & people.  I met & on terms with the Student Body President & I've had breakfast at President & Mrs. Albrecht's home.  How many freshman can say that?  One that I know.  I've also met one other friend through SAB or at least she recognizes me on campus.  It's sometimes hard to be on campus.  I'd say I feel lost as person up there.  I don't know if that's cause I'm shy or older or whatever.  But this girl has gone out of her way to at least say Hi to me when we pass each other to & from class.  She usually initiates it.  Remember what I said above.  It's really that simple.  That little interaction makes the difference to me.  She may never know.  Someday, I'd like to tell her.  (Guess I'll have to grow a pair to get to that point.)  Education & Social Skills are 1a & 1b as far as I'm concerned.  I know what it is & probably the most important if you know me.  I absolutely love being on campus.  Last, week it was snowing some pretty big flakes.  I decided I was going to walk around in it  I put my iPod in & started listening to American English by Idlewild staring up into it all.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joB0tlOjKcU)  I had to hold back tears.  That's just one case.  It happens all the time.  Like today at the soccer game.  I don't know what hit me, but I was struggling to hide the lump in my throat.  Utah State offers me so much.  I've made it a goal to do things on campus.  I've been to Science Unwrapped, multiple lectures on varying topics, soccer, volleyball, tennis, Chorale Concert, Art Shows, football, basketball, museums, Homecoming Dance, HOWL, concerts, etc.  Going to school has made me the happiest I've been in a long time.  It's enabled me to leave things on pause & focus differently for 4 years.  It WILL be one of the HARDEST things I do.  EVER!  But I'm gonna enjoy every second.